I have decided to reapply to a variety of US medical schools. Wish me luck. I submitted my first round of applications yesterday. So we all should know something within the next 3-4 months.
Thanks to all of you who took the time to remind me of who I am, what I want from my life and to tell me why medicine is such a good fit for me. Your patience, guidence and willingness to break things down for me has really been tremendously helpful. I know that my clarity and judgement has been way out whack lately, so having all of you around to remind me what life is all about has really been inspiring.
If I get accepted somewhere...its off to school for round two. If not, its time for plan "B." I will keep you all posted.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My Gram
Two years ago today, my Gram passed away. I miss her so much. She was a wonderful woman filled with spunk. She was the epitomy of being stubborn. She was filled with love and offered it to everyone around her. She snorted when she laughed and cried when reading sappy cards. What can I say, I miss her. She once said to me, "Amy, when you look up and see the moon, think of me." I think of you, Gram, every time I look up.
Life
Life is full of surprises and changes. I've experienced a tremendous amount of change over the past month. Today marks one month since I've been home from Dominica. I must admit, it has been the most challenging month of my entire life. The tough news...I've pretty much lost close to everything that was/is important to me. The good news...I get to start over with my life and recreate who I am and what I want to become.
One lesson that I've resisted over the years to learn but have been forced to embrace...submitting to things that I can't control (aka: acceptance).
I've been faced with the tough lesson of learning who my true friends are. Some people only want to be around me when I am funny or up-beat while others accept and love me regardless of where I am at. Thank you to both sets of people, I've gained clarity from each and every one of you. The hardest part of all of these changes is being abandoned or judged by some of the people that I thought were my closest friends. Sometimes people have double standards. One way or another, everyone's true colors always shine through, especially in times of crisis. The bottom line is that we all have to face ourselves every day.
The most important lesson that I've learned is that I can't change people. We all are who we are. And the fact that I've contorted and changed who I am to accommodate other people is something that I am not proud of and will never let happen again. It was naive and egotistical for me to think that by loving someone, friend or lover, they might love me back or want me...the truth is, we have no control over how other people feel about us or treat us. We can't assume that other people will react or behave the way that we would...we're all different and unique.
Sometimes, my friends, there just aren't answers to some of life's difficult questions. And sometimes the people who hold the answers to some of our quandaries won't share them with us. Ultimately, having the answers doesn't change the situation or the circumstances...it might bring some clarity and closure, but it doesn't change the outcome. Therefore, we must stay open to outcome and true to ourselves.
One lesson that I've resisted over the years to learn but have been forced to embrace...submitting to things that I can't control (aka: acceptance).
I've been faced with the tough lesson of learning who my true friends are. Some people only want to be around me when I am funny or up-beat while others accept and love me regardless of where I am at. Thank you to both sets of people, I've gained clarity from each and every one of you. The hardest part of all of these changes is being abandoned or judged by some of the people that I thought were my closest friends. Sometimes people have double standards. One way or another, everyone's true colors always shine through, especially in times of crisis. The bottom line is that we all have to face ourselves every day.
The most important lesson that I've learned is that I can't change people. We all are who we are. And the fact that I've contorted and changed who I am to accommodate other people is something that I am not proud of and will never let happen again. It was naive and egotistical for me to think that by loving someone, friend or lover, they might love me back or want me...the truth is, we have no control over how other people feel about us or treat us. We can't assume that other people will react or behave the way that we would...we're all different and unique.
Sometimes, my friends, there just aren't answers to some of life's difficult questions. And sometimes the people who hold the answers to some of our quandaries won't share them with us. Ultimately, having the answers doesn't change the situation or the circumstances...it might bring some clarity and closure, but it doesn't change the outcome. Therefore, we must stay open to outcome and true to ourselves.
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